I Can Hear Mexico Calling
Following the call as a YAGM through the ELCA
Brené Brown is one of my biggest intellectual crushes! I’ve been reading one of her books, Daring Greatly, which talks about shame, courage, and vulnerability. I decided to read this book because I thought it would be an uplifting read from a familiar voice. Little did I know that she had so much to say to me right now.
There are beautiful and difficult things about every experience. I love my job at Casa Refugiados and I really enjoy my host family. However, these first two months in Mexico have been really hard. Since arriving in Mexico, I’ve had pinkeye, caught a bad cold from a baby, struggled with catcalls and machismo, cut myself on a fence, burned myself, gotten lost, and gotten bedbugs. My primary states of being have been distracted and exhausted (which is the exact reason for pouring boiling water over my hand). I had been beating myself up about why I haven’t been handling this transition better, and was frustrated that I was having so many issues in Mexico. Then I started reading Daring Greatly and a different voice spoke to me. It said, “Of course you’re struggling! You threw yourself into a foreign land away from all the things that were comfortable for you. You moved in with 20 people you had never met before, and started a new job. You spend 95% of the day speaking a language other than your mother tongue. You are learning to navigate a city that is home to more than 23 million people… You have dived deeper into the pool of pure vulnerability than you ever have before.” This voice sounded like a mixture between my mom and Brené Brown. It was telling me, “Be kind to yourself. Give yourself some grace. Treat yourself as you would treat others in this situation.” Part 1 was acknowledging my vulnerability—whether it was to germs, people, bugs, or buses. I realized that I am essentially vulnerable 24 hours a day. Part 2 was embracing this vulnerability and finally reaching out to tell people where I was/am at. This meant getting medicine from the pharmacy, explaining to people that I have food allergies, telling myself that it’s ok not to say ‘hi’ to everyone if I don’t feel safe, and talking to my host family about how to get rid of bedbugs. I found bedbugs in my bed the day before my birthday. I was homesick and exhausted and didn’t have the energy to deal with bedbugs (which I’ve never had before). I had to talk to my host family about it as well as my country coordinator. I told my work supervisor so that I could take off work to clean my room and asked one of the other volunteers if I could stay with her and her family. When I told this long list of people what I was going through, I expected to receive grumbling about having a problem, needing to take off work, and imposing upon other people’s lives, but that’s not what happened at all. To the contrary, I was met with concern and compassion. The volunteer and her family welcomed me with open arms and offered that I could stay with them for a month if I needed it. My supervisor let me take off work. My coordinator and next-door neighbor offered to help me deep clean my room, and my host family ordered a new mattress. Don’t get me wrong, this past week was awful, but after embracing being vulnerable, swallowing my pride, and asking for help, I finished the week feeling like I have a support system—like I have friends and a community here. I was spending so much time focused on trying to be independent that all I was left with was exhaustion and loneliness. When I finally showed people how I was falling apart, I entered into a community where I didn’t have to be independent to be empowered. All of this has made me wonder what this means for community building and healthy relationships in other contexts… What would happen if we embraced our own vulnerability in the same way that we embrace that of other people?
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AuthorMy name is Kathryn Ophardt. I am spending this year in Mexico City as a Young Adult for Global Mission with the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America. During this year of service, I'll be working with the non-profit, Casa Refugiados. Archives
October 2018
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