I Can Hear Mexico Calling
Following the call as a YAGM through the ELCA
Last Tuesday may have been the first time that I have ever truly experienced a sabbath. Before last Tuesday, I had never dedicated an entire day to rest and communing with God. This past week was our spiritual retreat as a YAGM cohort. We went to Cuernavaca and stayed at a retreat center that is hosted by Benedictine nuns. The retreat focused on quieting the business of life to fully be able to listen to ourselves and to God. The main event of the retreat was spending 36 hours in silence in which we had no schedule except for meals. We were dissuaded from using any technology. And we were encouraged to pray, sleep, read, craft, write, and walk—anything that would help us to rest in the presence of God. On the one hand, those 36 hours were daunting. Even though I am as introspective as I am introverted, I’ve never been forced to sit alone with my thoughts or with God for so long. I found that it required a different kind of vulnerability. When I wasn’t willing to be vulnerable, I was bored out of my mind, but I found that before I could rest, I had to sort through the things that make me restless. I often don’t realize just how easily I am distracted, or how often I postpone processing my thoughts or experiences in a day. It seemed like all the things that I had pushed away came floating to the surface, and they floated with a fury. There was an overwhelming quality to this time of silence, but there was also something honest about it and something relieving about it as I no longer had to suppress anything. On the other hand, there was something luxurious about the 36 hours of silence. I didn’t have to cook or work or clean or even interact with anyone. I can’t remember the last time that I slept all afternoon, or the last time that I sat with myself long enough for my daydreams to become prayers. I’ve gotten so used to living in exhaustion that it seems miraculous to me that I felt more energy at 8:30 pm than when I woke up to start the day on Tuesday morning. I found that after I got through the muck of acknowledging and considering the things that weighed heavy on my heart, I felt free to rest in a more profound way. I felt like I could rest not just in body, not just in mind, not just in spirit, but as one whole person, reconciled to myself and at peace with myself. Is that what happens when we finally and truly rest? Is this what we are invited to do once a week? I know that this retreat offered an intense experience on one end of the spectrum. I don’t think that you have to live in silence for 36 hours to have a true sabbath. I think that a sabbath can be anything that brings you rest and closeness to God. And I think that you can experience the sabbath for a few moments every day. But there was something that felt truly sacred about detoxing from the pressures of society and replacing them with an opportunity to sit with myself and with God. And that should not have to be a luxury. Shabbat Shalom – Peace be with you as you seek sabbath.
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AuthorMy name is Kathryn Ophardt. I am spending this year in Mexico City as a Young Adult for Global Mission with the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America. During this year of service, I'll be working with the non-profit, Casa Refugiados. Archives
October 2018
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